What kind of a friend am I?

Week 2 DAY 3 and 4


We will:

  1. LOOK at Esther Chapter 5:14.
  2. LEARN ‘how‘ to incorporate GODcha’s tools along the way.
  3. LISTEN to God speak to us as we focus on GODcha’s LEARN/LIVE question –

Open GODcha to the Book of Esther

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Or, use your hardbound Bibles and follow along.

You can print off this week’s posts and put in a notebook!

Do you remember. . .

Why Was Esther Written?

To Find the Purpose of Esther

Scan the Overview in GODcha to refresh your memory!


Let’s Begin With Prayer

And Continue With an Attitude of Prayer

Perhaps. . .

Oh Lord, thank you for loving us. Thank you for loving us so much that You give us what we need, Your Holy Word, that reveals Your heart and ways, and reveals to us our hearts, and where we fall short. We want to hear You speak to us today. Give us eyes to see, and ears to hear. Grant us the understanding we need in order to be changed and live as You so desire. Thank you!

If you get STUCK at any point in your discovery, stop, and pray!

GOD, your Creator, loves you and desires to reveal much to you.


Context Tutorial >

We left off looking at Haman’s emotional state. Being happy and glad one minute and angry the next. We saw his pride as he recounted to his wife and friends his riches, children, and promotion. Seeing none of this satisfied him as Mordecai exposed his idol – the need for honor and recognition.


Let’s see what happens next.


At Verse 14

Haman’s Wife and Friends

Learn more>

READ Once More

READ Esther 5:9-14 by asking the who, what, where, when, why, and how questions.

Help Reading Esther 5:9-14>

Remember reading and re-reading helps us cement God’s Word down deep in our hearts.


Let’s Unfold verse 14.

What happens?


What Might Be Key?

We might want to consider Haman’s wife, and then his friends.

And consider what their advice was to Haman.


Have you noticed the important role wives play in this drama? We have seen Vashti, Esther, and now Zeresh.

Let’s Check Out Some Cross References to see what God says about wives.

1. What do you observe about Job’s wife?

Job 2:9-10

“The worst trial of all is when those nearest to us, instead of strengthening our hand in God and confirming our faith, conspire to destroy it.” C. J. Ellicott


“Whom Satan had spared, that she might be a troubler and tempter to him. For it is his policy to send his temptations by those that are dear to us. We ought, therefore, carefully to watch, that we be not drawn to any evil by them whom we love and value the most.” Joseph Benson


2. What does God say about an excellent wife?

Pro 12:4

Pro 31:10, 12, 30

LISTEN to the Spirit

If a young adult and not married, do I have a clear understanding of what God intends a marriage, and husband and wife to be?

If married, what kind of a wife am I?

Am I a godly, excellent wife? 

Have I shamed my husband in any way?

How do I advise my husband?

If married and a husband, what kind of a husband am I?


Now Let’s Check Out What God Says About ‘friends’.

1. What do you learn about the righteous neighbor vs. the wicked?

Pro 12:26


2. Who should we associate with? Why?

Pro 13:20


3. What is Paul’s warning?

1Co 15:33-34


4. What do friends do for one another?

Pro 27:17

LISTEN to the Spirit

What kind of a friend am I? 

Do I guide my friend according to God’s right ways, or lead them astray?

Who do I hang with?

Do I walk with wise friends, or those who are foolish?

Do I have friends that advise me according to God’s Word? Or do I have friends that have corrupted my morals?

What friend do I have that sharpens my mind, stirs me, and moves me to use my gifts for God’s works and purpose?


At Verse 14 Again

Learn more>

READ Esther 5:14 again and ask the who, what, where, when, why, and how questions.


What Else Might Be Key?

What advice did Haman’s wife and friends give to him?


Do You Remember the Meaning of Gallows?

We checked this out back in Est 2:23.

Fifty cubits high is around 75 ft, or about 8 stories high.

This is massive, enormous, colossal!

Why so high?

He wants everyone to see.

No doubt,

“it might be more conspicuous to all, and thereby be more disgraceful to Mordecai, and might strike all Haman’s enemies with the greater dread of despising or opposing him.” J Benson


As we see Haman is willing to take Mordecai’s life by hanging him on the gallows. . .

Do you see the contrast between Esther and Haman?

Esther was willing to lose her life for others, but Haman is willing to take a life.

Let’s Check Out Some Cross References to see what God says about taking someone’s life.

Exo 20:13


1Jo 3:15

Rom 12:19


What Did You LEARN 

Check Out GODcha’s #8 LEARN Question(s) 

#8. Haman was promoted by the king, honored by the queen, and then advised by his wife and friends to do what? Did he listen? (v14)

Sum It Up!


After Haman explains that Mordecai is driving him nuts, his wife, Zeresh, and his friends suggest he just get rid of Haman.

We Discover:

There are good wives and bad ones, as well as, good friends and bad.

An Excellent Wife:

– Is the crown of her husband, and never shames him;

– Is hard to find, for her worth is far above jewels;

– Will do her husband good, not evil;

– Ultimately fears the LORD, Pro 12:4; Pro 31:10-31.

A Foolish wife:

– Like Haman’s wife, Job’s wife was a foolish woman, adding temptation to Job’s affliction by spurring Job to curse God and die. Instead, she should have strengthened his faith and encouraged him to take the good with the bad.

We Discover:


A friend who is righteous will guide their friends in the right way, in contrast to the wicked whose ways are deceptive and can lead others astray, Pro 12:26.

If we walk with those who are wise, then we will be wise. But if we walk with fools we will suffer harm, Pro 13:20.

We will be corrupted if we listen to wrong teaching like the Corinthians, who were listening and associating with those who were teaching there is no resurrection of the dead. Close friendships and conversations with those who hold beliefs and opinions contrary to God’s Word, and/or who are impure in their lives. can and will corrupt the morals and hearts of others, 1Co 15:33-34.

Like iron that sharpens iron, so too do friends. Friends sharpen each other’s minds, affections, judgments to be better individuals, and it can be seen in a person’s countenance, Pro 27:17.



Haman’s wife and friends advise him to take Mordecai out. Have a gallows fifty cubits high made and in the morning ask the king to have Mordecai hanged on it;

Then go joyfully with the king to the banquet.

Haman took their advice and had the gallows made.

We Discover:

Gallows is a tree, a stake, on which a person would be impaled on.

Fifty cubits is about 75 ft, or 8 stories high.

We Discover:

Esther who is willing to lose her life for the sake of others, in contrast to Haman who is wanting to take Mordecai’s life.

The 6th commandment is that we are not to murder. And the penalty for taking a human life is death, Exo 20:13; Lev 24:17.

The NT restates the OT, telling us that anyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and no murderer has eternal life abiding in them, 1Jo 3:15.

Ultimately, we are never to take revenge, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord, Rom 12:19.



LISTEN to God Speak

And LIVE it out!

Check out GODcha’s #8 LIVE Question(s).

#8. Do I have a spouse and friends like this? What kind of advice and counsel do they give me? Is my heart to take others’ lives, or lose my life?


Respond to God. . . LIVE it out!

Now We Don’t Just LISTEN,

But, We Speak to God!

Help to Learn to Talk to Him>

Oh, chat with God, your Creator who loves you! He is waiting, desiring this intimate communication with you.

Okay, One Last Thing to Do 


To Wrap Up Chapter 5GODcha directs us to Summarize the Paragraphs, and then the Chapter.

This helps you grasp and process what you have LEARNED, cementing this Chapter down deep into your heart and you will remember it.


Come on try it, you will be so glad you did!

1. Read all of Esther Chapter 5 .

To refresh your minds and remember the main topics or what was  Key.


2. Focus on a Paragraph at a time.

RememberParagraphs are designated by boldface numbers or letters in your hardbound Bibles.


3. LOOK for the main topics of each Paragraph.

What was talked about the most?

Hint:  Key Words and/or phrases will help with this.

The main topics will help give you an outline, and you will see the flow of the chapter!

Jot the main topic of each Paragraph in the margins of your Bible next to the bolded verses, as well as in your Notes.


When you go through this process, thinking and reasoning God’s Truths, then God is able to seal Truth into your memory! 

Try it on your own before you go any further. I will help you after you give it a shot! You can do this! I know you can!


4. Now to Summarize.

Keep the summary to 4-6 Words or less if possible.


Because it will be easier to remember.


5. DO NOT paraphrase!

Use the Words God uses.

a. Paraphrasing can change the meaning.

b. And, we want to know and bury God’s Word, that has the power, into our heads and hearts.


This Chapter is Not Hard at All.

Try it on your own before you go any further.

I will help you after you give it a shot!

You can do this!

I know you can!


Okay, let’s see how you did.

Let’s Summarize The Paragraphs

v1-4      Esther Prepares to Meet the King

v5-8     Esther’s Plan – 1st Banquet 

v9-14   Haman’s Heart



How Would You Summarize Chapter 5?

What about:

Esther’s 1st Banquet

Fantastic, you all! 

I am so proud of you, and

I sincerely thank you for staying with us on this journey!


Chapter 5 is a Wrap!

Oh, I pray you have engaged with God in a very special way as you LISTENED to Him speak to you personally.

Meditate on everything God is teaching you. “For the one who meditates on God’s Word is blessed,” (Psalm 1:1-2).  

What have you learned about yourself?

Is there some action God is requiring of you?

Do you need to confess and repent?


Put this Review and Summary

in Your Notes

Video Tutorial>  Notes Tutorial >

If you will take the time to put this Review in your Notes you can return to it anytime and anywhere. You will be so glad you did.

If short on time, copy and paste into your Notes.


Let’s Bow Before the Father

FATHER GOD, BLESSED LORD JESUS, and HOLY SPIRIT – GOD in three persons, we praise You! We thank you that we can humbly draw near to You, and let You speak Truth to our hearts and minds. May we take what You are saying to us seriously! Oh, may we examine ourselves Father to truly consider our character and ways. We want to be excellent wives Father God! And too excellent husbands! We want to be good friends! May we consider our hearts and tongues, what we speak, what our words are. Oh, make it our goal to strengthen and confirm others’ faith, not destroy it. May we make it a priority to be in Your Word to counsel and advise our spouse, children, and friends according to Your Word of Truth.

And Father, may we check our hearts. Oh, we do not want to be like Haman in any way, shape, or form. Father may we be honest with ourselves and with You, as we consider if there is anyone we hate. Do we hate so much so, that we wish they were dead? Have we taken vengeance, when we are to leave vengeance to You? Oh let Your Word reprove, correct, and cleanse us – so we would be right with You. May we continue to ponder and chew on all You are teaching us, letting Your Holy Word renew our minds and transform us from the inside out. Oh, we Thank you Lord, and we ask these things in Your name, beloved Jesus. Amen!


You did awesome!

Please know that God established a pattern for mankind, and that pattern is that we work six days, and then we have one day when we set it aside to rest, and replenish our body, and focus on worshiping God. Rest and worship God!


See you in a few days to begin LOOKING @ Esther Chapter 6.

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